"NOT Love Poems For Real Life"---Officially Released into the Wild!

September 25, 2011 — Amazon, Dating, ebooks, Humor, Life, Love, Parody, Romi Moondi, Sarcasm, Self-Publishing

The “what the eff is wrong with me” train has just made another delivery.

This time around, the funny idea I had whilst in the shower has been converted into thirty poems of awkward hot messes, in “NOT Love Poems For Real Life”  (available in ebook format on Amazon for 99 cents; if you don’t have a Kindle, google “Kindle for PC or Mac,” it’s free). I initially envisioned fifty poems, but once I gassed up my editing chainsaw (whilst wearing a scary “Jason” mask and flannel), it was evident that I didn’t connect to some of the poems on a personal level. Not embarrassing enough, not revealing enough, and therefore a little bit flat.

And so, much to my chagrin, I put my reputation on the line in the name of art….yay.

To the people who know me, this collection is a fun little exercise in figuring out which poems are about whom…ohhh the scandal! After which I’ll confirm it’s about no one, since something so vague with so much fiction mixed in could never be proven as fact. Besides, the only person who should be hiding in a corner is me, ’cause nobody gets an ego beating in this publication like yours truly. But I’m not exactly the hide-in-the-corner type.

To the people who DON’T know me, this collection is vindication, for every real and epic poet who forgot about the not-so-epic experiences; all the frogs you had to kiss, all the times you were someone else’s frog bitch, you know, the mistake that made him/her run to someone else (hooray!…umm). The teenage pursuits, the hot men in suits, the constant rejection, the creepy-ass stalkers…where are OUR stanzas?!

Right here.

Back to putting my reputation on the line, this isn’t a publication with a frame of reference; this can’t be compared to Twilight or Harry Potter or actually to any other “something” in existence, and that equals risk. “Shocked, appalled and offended” will probably happen as reactions. It was simply one of those things I had to do, before my brain would let me work on something else. I guess I just couldn’t face the thought of line-editing a book about finding love and blah, blah (i.e. Year of the Chick—which is not “blah”, I assure you!) before wrestling with some issues and being a little reckless. I guess it’s a side-project, like when Britney Spears tried out acting in the movie Crossroads. I have no further comment on that cinematic effort.

And so, if you read my blog and nothing I’ve said has offended you up until now, download away and have fun!

If you’re anybody else, I offer you this disclaimer:  This work is not intended for young audiences, due to strong language and mature themes. These mature themes include: sexy time, rejection, humiliation, and the fear of dying alone.

That will be all for today, and as a final note: if you read my work and like it, I encourage you to interact in the following ways, each of which assists “independents” like me; thanks!
Facebook Author Page
Twitter Page
A review on Amazon or Goodreads

Coming up next month…the one that started it all: based on the blog of the same name, one woman’s quest to find love in a year, all to avoid arranged marriage (cue dramatic music)…Year of the Chick! (I was trying to make that sound like a movie trailer, but it would’ve been more compelling if it randomly mentioned an epidemic, natural disaster or zombie attack…)