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I have been afraid of Pinterest for three months.
First I was afraid because I thought it was a do-it-yourself acupuncture play-by-play.
Then I was afraid because you needed an “invite” to even join the site, and thinking back to my high school days when I’d wear a denim buttoned shirt on top of denim relaxed-fit jeans…well I didn’t think I’d make the cut.
Lastly, I was afraid of what it was doing to its users. I’d quietly watch the socially-adjusted Twitter and Facebook addicts I used to know, and suddenly they weren’t posting about what they’d had for breakfast or what they were wearing via a self-portrait pic in the mirror (where they were giving a peace sign and pursing their lips, no doubt). Instead, they had linked up their accounts to Pinterest, as it sucked their narcissistic updates dry and replaced them with….pins.
“Sally pinned some food to her “food board.” She didn’t actually eat any food…that we know of.”
“Amy pinned this amazing couch to her decor board, because it’ll just be PERFECT for that beach house she owns in her dreams.”
“Sarah pinned spiked-heel sandals to her fashion board. Sarah’s thick ankles will not support this look, but her board is one pin fuller.”
If it sounds like I’m making fun of Pinterest, YOU ARE WRONG!
Pinterest is a revolution, to undo the years of damage caused by social media. You see, Facebook and Twitter encouraged you to actually interact with people, so you could share the mind-numbing details of your life, even “@ messaging” specific people at times, forcing them to reply. But now……you can make all these boards and pin all this shit and it’s all for YOU! Sure you can follow people, and re-pin their pins (WTF?), but in the end it’s all about how pretty your boards look. It’s like having the walls of your home covered up in all your awkward hopes and dreams in a cut-and-paste collage…but without actually ruining your walls! That’s a win for both wall care and family relationships. Instead, Pinterest kindly offers to get “all up in the walls” of your mind’s daily obsessions (if that’s not Pinterest’s slogan already, they should pay me a large sum to use it).
The net effect of obsessive “pinning” means less time actually telling people about your life (with the rest of us being forced to “like” your updates out of obligation), and more time spent alone, protected by the virtual walls of your favourite things, regardless of if you’ll ever have said things. And BONUS: the more time you spend doing THAT, the less time you’ll spend talking to your friends and loved ones about: all the re-decorating you want to do, all the clothes you want to buy, all the hair products you want to try, and all the places you wish you could visit. And the net effect of THAT? Well…there will be nothing left to talk about, and in this eerie silence, brains will simultaneously light up, ideas will be exchanged, and…cancer will be cured.
In case you thought I was above all of this…as of this weekend I am a happy and dedicated pinner! See here, look how happy I seem in my profile picture, I’m even staring up at you from an angle! Here’s what all my pinning will now spare my friends of in future conversation:
1. Whenever I’m feeling all emo about lost love and if I’ll ever find it again, I’ll pin the shit out of my “Writer Inspiration” board instead of talking about it
3. Whenever I feel like being a shopaholic, I’ll pin a bunch of clothes to my “If I Could Shop All Day” board instead of going on a shopping spree, then bitching to my friends about how I’m broke. That’s a double win, friendship AND bank account score!
So…what are you waiting for?
PS: This post was in no way related to where I’m at with my writing projects and publishing experiences, which has clearly been this crazy blog’s trend for the last six months! I’ll still return to that luscious blogging well for every drop that it’s worth, but in the meantime my writer thoughts will be more organized and more personalized (but just as insane) in my free monthly newsletter, which you can subscribe to here. The first issue is coming up on May 2nd. NOTE: if you haven’t read any of my books, this newsletter will contain spoilers, so either shape up and read my work or ship the hell out! Thanks, love you.
aaaand following also – June 7 is being marked on my calendar! Can’t wait for the sequel.
Thanks, I’m following you back! And eek, only 17 days left until the sequel!!
I think “pinning the shit” out of anything sounds, er, not so great. But in your case I will make an exception since I love you too.
I don’t really get Pinterest, but of course I had to join anyway. Similarly joined Twitter, Google+, etcetera. With Pinterest I have a policy of following back anyone who follows me. Whatever.
I’m starting to really enjoy pinterest as a way to simply talk about things I like with my happy face on, with no real need to have any other opinions or whatever, whereas Twitter is more of a conversation…or something.
Now I get it, too! Thanks, Romi!
I don’t feel quite so out of touch with the “young people”…
Well I’m not that young, but I’m happy to help!