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Is it a common belief that chicks should know how to dance?
I’m not sure if that’s a standard part of the “girly” repetoire (like wearing supportive undergarments to deny the force of gravity), but it seems like a standard skill. And for all those girls who come up short in the art of dance (whether classical style or the “grinding” stuff)…well you won’t hear a lot about them. I imagine they’re usually pulled off the stage by a guy holding of those giant canes…
…My own dancing skills aren’t all that easy to classify. Like there’s the “Bollwood” style that I’m required to perform (both at parties, and at the request of wealthy Indian industrialists), and then there’s the dance club “night-out drunk moves”.
In either area of dance, I can’t seem to find my footing, and meanwhile there are chicks who can groove to the music like they’re made out of ribbons…so why not me?
It might have to do with the conflicting style of dances growing up, and my general lack of focus…
…I first picked up on dance in the Bollywood style of things. This happened from the ages of six to ten, an era that was rich in basement-Bollywood dancing parties. It was a time when my aunt, my uncle and a couple of friends would join my parents in the basement, with the Hindi mix tapes blaring from the silver boom box.
I observed the ladies moving their hands a lot, in the direction of the ceiling mostly. It was like they were reaching for something…always reaching. The men were reaching too, but theirs was a dance not as heavy in the hips, whereas the ladies swirled around in ecstasy.
I was generally entranced by the style of dance, and even moreso because of the feminine outfits; every colour of the rainbow and embroidery up the wazoo (nobody does it better than you, my beloved Indians)…
…The kids got the chance to join in too, and that was my favourite part. We weren’t exactly dressed for the part (unless you count my teddy-bear pajamas as “party appropriate”), but we were certainly ready to groove.
Since I was a kid and therefore extremely inventive, my Bollywood dance was a hand reaching up in the air, with the other one rubbing my butt cheek (the left one to be exact). Like I said, inventive. It was glorious and epic.
I wanted to dance forever, but before I could refine my Bollywood dancing skills, distraction hit me hard. It was mostly Paula Abdul’s fault. Her and her damn “Opposites Attract” video, not to mention the highly popular “Straight Up”. Then there was Alanis (before she became Alanis with a last name), and let’s not forget Madonna and all that “Vogue”.
Pretty soon I was learning how to do the “Running Man” and “Roger Rabbit”, whilst spending my daydreams imagining myself with a rigid pair of “cone boobs” (thank you Madonna and your “Blonde Ambition” tour).
Now before I could ever excel in the dances of the “West”, I ended up distracted again. This time the cause was grunge, and more grunge, and wearing lots of flannel. There would be no twirly hips for me, but instead big flowing shirts, greasy hair, and rocking out. In short they were my angst-ridden teenage years, which were as close as I would get to resembling a dude.
My final distraction has been carrying on for a while. It’s the one where there’s a lot of vodka involved. The beats play hard, the girls take the floor, and we get a little freaky you know? I have never been adventurous enough to get all super-sexy (like the chicks who “dance-bang” their partners in public…you know who are), but instead it’s a lot of free-flowing movement (including the drink that I inevitably spill on my shirt).
All in all, I am not a good dancer in any sense, and it’s a fact that is starting to concern me…particularly in the Bollywood arena. It’s my sister’s wedding that’s the issue, a wedding that is less than five months away. I am already stressed out enough by the idea of wearing a tight (and revealing) saree, but the dancing part is a big deal too. So important the dancing is, that once the first “bride and groom” dance concludes, the floor will open for immediate family only (for the first five minutes at least). “Dance!”, they’ll say, “Dance!”…and I’ll have to.
Which brings me to the all-important question:
Is it time to resurrect the “rubbing my butt-cheek” move?
Do The Locomotion
I’m sure everything will work out all right. At a wedding the largest focus will be on the bride. If you’re really nervous then stay close to the bride and they’ll watch her more than you.
I’m actually kinda worried about this too since I am getting married on July 25, 2009 😦 I’m happy and all but there are always a few things that you get nervous about.
The only advice I have to offer is to dance according to the style of music. My brother’s wedding had a lot of the modern stuff playing in the clubs so I had some practice before the actual wedding. When the wedding came around, most people had been drinking enough that it didn’t matter. Good luck with your dance moves!
Ewwww grunge. Butt-cheek rubbing would be hilarious, possibly attract the wrong attention, but hilarious all the same.
Well, you could’ve fallen trap to The Worm, so let’s say you didn’t make a fool of yourself. Now, on to the butt rubbing!
Copious amounts of vodka, and lots of pelvic action. Two things could happen. Your parents will drag you off the floor and make you sit on your bum, eating lots of sweet shit or…
You’ll get a whole lot of offers for help with the pelvic action. It’s a win/win situation.
I say go the running man WHILE rubbing the butt cheek – both cheeks if you are feeling super daring. How could you go wrong? If you could chuck the Macarena in, with a splash of the ‘Thriller’ dance you are sure to be a hit.
Dancing is highly overrated, except when you’re young. I’m pretty sure that neither CareerMom, nor I, have any desire to go shake our moneymakers in downtown Atlanta.
But boy when I was 20 in Georgetown. WOw!
Good memories! Thank you!
Are we humans or are we dancers?! Dance Romi! Don’t let the world pass you by – dance like no one is watching.
My “dance skills” are right up there with yours it would seem. I’ve never been much of a dancer either, but it seems that its an absolute requirement in the dating world in your 20s.
You could try YouTubing “How to Dace” and see what comes up, not that I would ever try that. *cough*
I think slapping the left cheek is an entirely appropriate dance move for your sisters wedding! Please perform and report…maybe you’ll find a boyfriend 😉
P.S. Booze always makes dancing a little more fun…or embarassing 🙂
Well, the good news is you have five months to practice, right? I say make your own version of the Bollywood Bunny Hop. Heehee. I think “good” dancing is all up to interpretation and you should just have fun at your sister’s wedding because it is a celebration and so it is appropriate to dance in a happy way.
Dancing, for me, requires imprudent amounts of vodka over the course of the evening. It’s never pretty(although apparently it’s endlessly hilarious), and since everyone has started carrying a motherf***ing cell phone with camera/video/internet capabilities, it simply doesn’t happen anymore. I mean, everyone is instantly linked to everywhere these days via Facebook and the like. And although it’s not likely, I MIGHT want to hold a decent job someday…
I like Karaoke sometimes, and I usually get a pretty positive feedback from that. Although most of the songs I sing are by female artists (because females actually SING), so now many people assume I’m gay. Heh.
P.S.—How’s about you dance, and I’ll rub your butt cheeks?
You can’t go wrong with a good rump rub in my opinion.
I am so hoping for a little home video of some serious butt-cheek rubbin’. 😛 Please Romi, don’t fail me here. 😉
As for the grunge phase, that totally explains the greasy hair. 😐
I say hit the hula hoop between now and then. 🙂 I wouldn’t mind a little video of that either. Oh please, oh please, oh please.
I don’t know. I don’t think all chicks can dance. Just look at that girl from Seinfeld.
mylesfromnowhere: thanks for the visit, and the “locomotion” might actually be do-able from within my saree, so I will take that suggestion under advisement 😉
Hackett: thanks for stopping by, and for sure she will be the focus, as she’ll be all be-speckled in jewels and equisite fabric etc…so maybe I will stay away from her and dance in the corner, haha 😉
PS: congrats on your upcoming wedding! 🙂
timshel1: thanks for the visit, and yes definitely that’s true!…in this case the meat of it will be your neighbourhood friendly Hindi/Punjabi music, so maybe I should watch some movies for practice 😉
Kerplar: come on, grunge was so good for teenage angst!! (and besides I listened to the more mainstream stuff (yeah I am SO legit, haha), so that was a little easier on the ear 😉 )
PS: I am completely on the fence regarding the “butt-cheek” rubbing, so we’ll see! 😉
duffboy: no you’re right, I didn’t even know what The Worm was when I was a kid…but you have to admit, it’s kind of cool isn’t it? 😉
Anja: I like sweet shit and I like offers, so umm yeah, yours is the best plan so far! 😉
GYL: I was totally picturing myself (or anyone) doing the running man while rubbing BOTH butt cheeks, and I started laughing at loud…thanks for that! 🙂
dobeman: dude, I have been hoping and wishing that you will post a youtube clip of yourself “shaking your moneymaker”, so please don’t say it’s too late!!! 😉
CuriousC: aww, I love that song! 🙂 Thanks for that reminder, and gosh, if I dance how I do in my room when there actually isn’t anyone watching??? Yeah well that will be very amusing to all who witness it 😉
omegaradium: well…uhh…thanks for the youtube tip on learning how to dance, even though you have never, never heard of it, haha… 😉 And really, you have to know how to dance in the dating world? Hmm…maybe that’s why I’ve had so many problems, haha 😉
sammy25: oh my gosh, did you sub-conciously change “rubbing” the butt cheek to “slapping” it, or did you do that on purpose??? Something tells me it was the second one, haha, you’re crazy 😉
teeni: Bollywood-Bunny-Hop? Now how would that look? One hand in the air for sure, haha 😉
PS: I like your “subjective” spin, and I can certainly dance in a “happy” way, just don’t know if everyone else will be happy to see it.. 😉
B. Smith: HAHAHA….now this I have to see! 🙂 What are your best female songs in Karaoke? Just please don’t tell me you do Celine Dion, because that would totally disappoint me (even though she’s Canadian too…)
PS: hahaha…nice try! 😉
Pure Evyl: wow…I think “rump rub” are two words that totally belong together, haha, thanks for that 😉
Peter Parkour: hahaha…you want a clip of me using the hula-hoop? WOW…you have reached a new level of…something….lol 😉
PS: yes, the greasy-hair-days, you knew there was a reason right? 😉
bronsonfive: but come on, The “Elaine Dance” was a total anomaly!! I have never seen a woman dance that badly in real life, unless I haven’t been staring at chicks at night clubs enough, which actually, haha, I don’t really do a lot of 😉
Stumbleupon brought me here. And thank god for that! I think you are absolutely filarious. You sound like 80% of all the other brown women i know in advertising – a common gene perhaps?
Good luck with the dancing! My sister is getting married in July so I definitely feel your dance floor woes. Should i go with the regular rump- rubbing, butt-slapping, taking-it-to-the-car-wash combo – or trade up for something a little more socially acceptable. Hmmm. Only time and an open bar will tell.
Romi, you’ve never seen chicks dance like that? Have you ever been to a white wedding?
And by white, I mean, a wedding with mostly white people in attendance.
I’m an okay dancer for a guy…but it’s a 3 drink minimum to get the stiff white guy to go away.
I think you should “break dance” – that’ll give them something to talk about. Or, do the Robot 😉 heeeheeee-heeee! Oh Romi, you just dance the way you want to, let go and be free- that will also give them something to talk about – ROFLMAO! Just be yourself. You are all right!
Any era known for basement Bollywood dancing sounds like an era worth knowing to me 🙂
The extent of my dancing is a slow-dance to Bon Jovi’s “Never Say Goodbye”. (the big slow dance song for my 8th grade school dances)
j: thanks for finding me, and you have a sister getting married in July too? Wow, it’s going to be crazy eh? We’ll have to give each other helpful tips until we get there! 😉
bronsonfive: hahaha…I’ve only been to one white wedding and I got loaded pretty fast, so maybe that’s why I didn’t notice, lol 😉
douglas: haha, I would actually like to see some of these moves 😉
Java Queen: Oh my gosh I would LOVE to break-dance…I wonder how I’d pull that off in a saree though, hahaha 😉
Allison: hahaha….and wasn’t the 80’s a loveabe era in so many wonderful ways?? 😉
PS: HAHAHAHA….I always loved “Always” By Bon Jovi 🙂 , but it wasn’t quite slow enough for a slow dance, but not “quick” enough for a rock-out dance either…sigh…what a shame…
Of course you can dance! Dancing’s just moving to music, so practically anyone in the world can dance!
I’ve tried learning ballroom dance, line-dancing, even disco. I cannot learn any type of structured dance in a group. It has to be on an individual basis. So I can waltz a little. And I can do the basic one-step, cause I grew up with that.
So there are alot of structured dances, I can’t do well. But I don’t care! I can just fake it, even let the woman lead!
My point is this: The secret to dancing is lack of inhibition. If anyone can be uninhibited (even if it takes a few drinks), he/she can dance!