Confessions of a Chick in Paris

Confessions of a Chick in Paris

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Religion And The Grown-Up Body

March 8, 2009 , , , , , , , ,

lord_ganesha_zc78-1I have never been religious, but I’ve managed to stay somewhat “spiritual” for most of my life. 

There was a stretch of time though, when I didn’t believe in God or spirituality or aliens or anything.

This era spanned for several years, and utterly crushed my faith…

…I was getting older, become taller and growing awkward hair.

But my boobs, they refused to come along for the ride.

I know what you’re thinking: “Boo-hoo! Everyone goes through things like that!  Suck it up Sally!”

Well as it happened, everyone else wasn’t going through it at all; the other girls were dealing with the opposite effect, meaning that the net-effect was smothering (quite literally)…

***

…It was the end of Summer ’93, and the beginning of Junior High.  I was coming off a Summer filled with bicycle rides and baseball with the neighbourhood kids.  This would’ve been fine if I’d been aiming for a shot at boyhood, but that wasn’t the case at all.

So how come I didn’t do what the other girls were doing?

How come I didn’t spent a Summer getting jacked up on estrogen pills?

‘Cause that’s what all the girls had done, in case you didn’t know.

Do you think I’m lying?  Well…how else would you explain their up-and-coming chest mounds?

Oh yeah, God…God and his preferential treatment.

These children of God were now getting used to their “chest extensions”, with an utter look of whimsy on their glowing faces.  As they began to embrace their newfound bodies (and I mean literally, like they would hug their chests in class), I began to respond by looking down my shirt.  Then I would look to the heavens, repeating a favourite phrase:

“What the frick God!??!?!”

But there was no explanation.  My mother herself wasn’t lacking, with her personal busty look (a look that had always been ample, even before having kids).

I wondered if God had gotten it backwards for me.  Like here I was with a very sculpted set of “washboard boobs”.  A very desirable look for the stomach, but not what you’d want in a female chest.  So what if things had gotten switched?  Was I only days away from growing a couple of  “ab sacs”?

I was worried.

As the months went on my stomach retained its flatness (phew), but so did the chest. 

In the meantime these girls I knew were attracting wide-eyed man-boys, so excited by the prospect of touching  a “non mom” boob.

As for me I’ll be honest: I considered the idea of stuffing.  But for that I would’ve needed a bra, and my mom equated bras to being a common slut (it’d be years before I’d shake her out of that belief).

So I went about my days in loosely fitted solid-coloured t-shirts.  I had lots of these shirts, since my mom had developed a sewing fetish, to the point where half my clothes had the “Made By Mommy” label.  It was a lucky time for those big-ass shirts, since they happened to be all the rage (but only when nicely tucked into slim fit jeans).

So it was fine for a while, but as high school began, spandex tops and  “baby-tees” were taking over.  I was far too physically deficient to get involved…a deficiency that wasn’t my fault, and one that lead to a hate for all religions. 

It was hard to share this hate with my parents, as they were floating on a high from the “Hindu Miracle of Milk”.  It was an unforgettable night,  one in which my parents (who aren’t even Hindu, by the way), had carried a single aim: to feed a Ganesha statue a spoonful of milk.  So they dragged us to a tiny Hindu temple in the downtown area, on a cold rainy night in Autumn ’95.  I can still remember waiting in the longest line, and coming face-to-face with the Lord Ganesha himself.  He sat there beaming, waiting for another disciple to feed him some milk.  I was handed the milk-filled spoon, and urged to feed it fast to the god, so the line could keep on moving.  I fed him his milk alright, but I didn’t feel the same sense of wonder that showered all the others.  I simply glared at his stone-made thirsty face…

***

…These days I don’t hate God anymore.  I believe in something again, though I don’t really know what it is.  As for my chest it is no longer actually “washboard”, and I’ve learned to work with these (very) modest slopes.  I owe it all to the bras with magical properties, bras that can literally spin your straw into busty gold.  In the back of my mind though, there is always the fear of getting too over-zealous with futuristic bras…like how “enhanced” do I really want to look? 

I haven’t decided yet, so I continue to be as deceptive as I please, waiting for the moment when the futuristic beau screams out “farce!”…

letterr2

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comments

Ha ha, i can relate.I went through the same thing!! I never had a chest, lol on top of all my other indian problems(in a catholic school)Most of this hit me in 6th. I HATED middle school. And yeah, catholic school did the opposite to me, but I never really regained any faith, or gained any cool!! ha ha. Expect I do believe in aliens, so thats something….

Shweta

March 9, 2009

you had me at the “growing hair in awkward places” part. LOL~ 🙂

goodbadandugly2

March 9, 2009

I don’t know how you live with those awkward leaky things…

morethananelectrician

March 9, 2009

I have been an admirer of the work you have put in for your ‘modest slopes’ and may I say, I think they are spectacular… 🙂

glassowater

March 9, 2009

Non-Mom-boobs. . hahahaa! where do you come up with this stuff?!
Modest slopes are good, Romi .. The fear of having SAGGY slopes (like bananana slopes) is quite a bit smaller since your tatas are at the modest side of the size range.
And for that, I say lucky you.

Red

March 9, 2009

While I am not well versus in Hindu theology, Ganesh seems the last deity to withhold bosoms from a young lady. If I had to pick a chairperson of the Vedic itty bitty titty committee I’d look first to Kali…as she’s both of suspect intent, and women tend to be more catty about those sorts of things than men.

A.J. Valliant

March 9, 2009

I went to a Catholic School with a plethora of overly endowed Italian girls. I am tall, very thin, and can’t even rustle up a storm in a B cup. I was known as “The Young and The Breastless”

It used to break my little heart. No lusty perving young men for moi. I have recently met up with a few of the ‘Mammary Mafia’ It took me all my time to bite my lip and refrain from singing “Swing Lo, Sweet Chariot”

It sucks when you’re a teenager – it rocks when they don’t sag. 🙂

Anja

March 9, 2009

Finally, a subject I have some knowledge about (not Hindu gods mind you).

I am constantly betwixed over my own feeling about breasts. When part of a package deal, they certainly can make or break a look, but by themselves, they’re nothing spectacular. I suspect this is a common feeling among most men who have seen breasts actually being used for their intended purpose and not just as a hand hold to help you turn over in bed when you’ve pulled your back out.

Wha?

Anyway, when you do find Mr. Right, and if you do decide to populate this world with little “Romi’s,” I believe you will be dancing the happy dance when, after they’ve gone back to semi-normal, that you don’t have to deal with over-stretching.

But that’s just me…

dobeman

March 9, 2009

Bah. If you’re doing it right, at the moment of truth he’ll be too busily involved in his own religious experience to shout “farce.” 😉

Taoist Biker

March 9, 2009

While a ‘nice pair’ is, well, nice, I’ve never understood the whole male fascination with HUGE boobs (or bisexual women, or sports. I think I may actually be an alien, lol)
Anyway, I agree with the ‘someday-you’ll be-thankful’ crowd, as well as Taoist Biker, above. you’ll be sportin’ those things for the rest of your life…use ’em wisely, heh.

B Smith

March 9, 2009

I’m glad you’ve graduated from washboard boobs to modest slopes, which are the perfect size in my opinion. Anything more than that and you risk getting hurt!

Daddy Dan

March 9, 2009

Ahhh the topic of tits again. This is your happy place it seems. Although ridiculed and teased, you still enjoy boob talk. Haha. I think the small little fun sized sweater melons are good. The big tits get all the attention, and for the most part it is unwanted attention. Variety is the spice of life though. Ahhh, breasts! Haha. As for the whole god issue…I believe in the Universe. How can I choose a god, with some many contradicting one another? I need a stable god, the Universe is my god.

jcow81

March 10, 2009

This is mi kind of blog entry: fear/rage of the Gods, girls rubbing their chests in public, and pre-teen angst. It has it all! 😉

Duffboy

March 10, 2009

Oh Romi, you’ve struck boob post gold again! And even thrown in a spoonful of fascinationmilk! I love this post!! I laughed, I cried, I wished you had the best boobs in all Toronto!

But hey that’s just not gonna happen. So you’ll have to be happy with your badass beautiful little old self as yo is!

♥ 🙂 ♥ 🙂 ♥ 🙂 ♥ 🙂

David

March 11, 2009

You’d think Lord Ganesha, what with his milk fetish, would have been more than happy to grant a young girl’s bosomic wish. Sometimes the gods are so apathetic!

Adam

March 12, 2009

Shweta: like aliens are not messing around you know…they’re gonna get us one of these days, but FIRST they’ll attack the non-believers, lol…so we’ll be okay for a while! 😉

goodbadandugly2: it’s my hair in awkward places that usually enchants people off the bat, you know? I’m a lucky gal, haha 😉

morethananelectrician: hahaha, my “awkward leaky things”!?!? That is soooo my new name for them, but the leaky part is still upcoming I guess..lol 😉

glassowater: oh my goodness, thank you for applauding my conscious efforts, hahaha 😉

Red: banana slopes?!??!! AHHHHH….nooooooo….bad visual, hahaha…okay, maybe I should appreciate the future dividends that await 😉

A.J. Valliant: women are sooo caddy (about these vanity type things especially!)…so yeah, it was prolly some female bitch goddess that screwed me over…good catch 😉

Anja: “Young and the BREASTLESS”!?!?! Oh dear, now that is a tough nickname to deal with, sorry about that.

PS: “mammary mafia”!?!?!? yeah, lol, looks like they are screwed, I will thank God that I am out of my teenage years 😉

Dobeman: “over-stretching”!!!?! “Hand hold” implements for bad back!?!? Dobeman I learned so much from you in that one comment, that was one of your best ever! Thanks dude, haha 🙂

Taoist Biker:
wow…I love that..yes that would be a lovely scenario, haha 😉

B Smith: I will most certainly use them wisely…and ya, what is with dudes and the bi-sexual-chick fascination? It makes men so “less” to me…disgusts me really…lol 😉

Daddy Dan:
well I definitely don’t want to hurt myself with giant melons…safety first! 😉

jcow81: yes…you can see right through me. You understand that my apprehension over boobies is really a cover so I can discuss my cans and cans in general at large….sigh…boobies!!! Haha…but seriously it’s fun eh? And not the kind of thing I’d talk about at work, so might as well do it here! 😉

PS: I TOTALLY hear you! The only reason I believe something today that is back to being “spiritual” is because of the Universe!!! I am SOOO a child of the Universe like yourself, and to that end I will only say this: “hate breeds hate, kindness breeds kindness”. Now do you really need a church or a god with a face to live by that??? I don’t think so!…love it! 😉

Duffboy: somehow I feel like the “girls rubbing their chests in public” section was your favourite part, haha 😉

David: wow….you cried too!?!?? Haha…well thanks for your support and I will try to be happy with the current state (all your hearts and smileys DO help by the way! 😉 )

Adam: ya…you would THINK!! But maybe there was a milk surplus and he thought “enough is enough”…sigh..

PS: good to see you around, it’s been a while! 🙂

Romi

March 12, 2009

I…Love…You. This post was great. Now I just have one question if your Mother thought a bra made you a common slut, what does she think Victoria Secret underware equates women to? Also, who wants to attract man-boys…We want men!

sammy25

March 13, 2009

If I recall correctly, your prior avatar picture had a nice cleavage shot 🙂

Allison

March 14, 2009

sammy25: I have this AMAZING bra from Victoria’s Secret that I got last time I was in NYC..it’s black and it’s lace and it makes my boobies look visible!! But shh!! Don’t tell my mom I have it 😉

Allison: ahhh…yes,I remember that avatar pic, and I believe it was an aerial shot…proving that it’s all about the angles 😉

Romi

March 15, 2009

Good God (no pun intended)–I’ve never seen so many topics covered in one post!

Sure I am attracted to women with large breasts (C-D cup. But I’m a hip-man–I prefer women who have large hips (the bone structure). And you’ve got large hips!

Scott

July 16, 2009

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