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You can scroll the shelf using ← and → keys
And we carry on, with the epic saga of a sister’s big day.
To start, let me shake up your memory from installment number one:
-looking hot in a seafoam-coloured get-up, getting uncomfortably close to Indian man-folk, and filling up the SUV limo with middle-aged Indian “spotlight hogs”
Okay you’re caught up, let’s continue…
When we arrived at the temple, a mini crowd had formed to see my sister, which had a side-effect of making me feel a little famous. The only thing missing was a red carpet, reporters, Daniel Craig on my arm, and people who actually gave a crap that I was there.
My sister and I went inside to one of the bridal rooms, which was really an office for the temple administrators, with wall-to-wall glass completely robbing us of privacy. And so, when my sister got her pre-wedding jitters and puked in the garbage can, everyone would’ve seen it…if they hadn’t been outside with their eyes glued on the groom.
(phew, first crisis averted).
After trying my best to re-apply any face decorations post-puke, I allowed my sister to peek outside the office window, so she could longingly stare at her groom. I looked outside for a little bit too, and while my brain tried hard to compute the reasoning behind her emotional gaze (you just saw him yesterday!), I failed and took a seat on the couch instead.
Maybe one day, when my stone-cold heart warms to love, I’ll understand the way she felt. Ahem…I think it’s time to switch those gears now…
So the most exciting part for me? Walking down the aisle (and yes, my SISTER’S wedding is all about ME…don’t you know this by now?). Up until that morning, I had never been a bridesmaid or anything, not for an Indian wedding or a white-person one. But the aisle, the flowers in my hand, and the camera actually being on ME?
The attention alone is enough to want to have my own wedding. Maybe I’ll sell myself on a marriage website yet…
The ceremony itself wasn’t long…but it felt long. It’s just that sitting cross-legged is rough-ass times for yours truly. I mean I totally respect that you don’t sit on chairs at the temple (except for grannies with bad backs who are propped up on milk crates against the wall), but THIS kid? Well she’s got some chronic neck and shoulder problems fool!
I should’ve brought along my muscle relaxers. Or smoked some weed pre-ceremony. Or maybe I should go to temple more often than for weddings and special events, maybe then it wouldn’t even hurt.
Woulda-coulda-shoulda aside, the ceremony ended without incident, following thirty minutes of me staying cross-legged (gah!), so I could be in all the pictures for the bride and groom “cash grab”. You all know what the cash-grab is right? It’s when the bride and groom get blessed by every guest (with bills plus a har), who line up in an orderly fashion for this sagaan as it’s called.
Once the debts were paid, I dutifully carried my sister’s bouquet and purse, as she and her husband(!) made their way down the corridor for some greetings.
And that’s when the showdown happened.
It was my sister and “other bride”, who were now standing face-to-face.
Other-bride had also just been married, in the crappier hall to the left (whereas my sister had just been married in the MAIN hall). Aside from hall supremacy, my sister in her pink bridal gear, totally outshone the shorter, gawdy-looking other-bride in red. She was fugly is what she was, and it’s not my mandatory loyalty that makes me say that.
Other-bride was a bridal train-wreck.
Since other-bride didn’t have a sexy leg to stand on, she conceded and smiled at my sister like a proper inferior.
My sister looked right through her though, and kept walking on. Burn!
It was a good thing but also not, ’cause I was sort of hoping that other-bride’s sister and I would have a cage match. Or maybe a throw-down in the parking lot.
A girl can dream.
After that my sister and her husband were ushered off for cheesy photos in the park, which left our crew in “intermission”. That in itself is worthy of a re-cap, not to mention what happened next:
-the reception that I frickin’ emceed.
Yes, still a bit more to cover…
Can’t wait . . .
I’m trying to be consistent with once a week posts, so you won’t have to wait too much longer..thanks! 🙂
Oh shite! Near sister-of-the-bride cage match! That would have been exciting, not to mention spot-light grabbing 😉
Was your sister upset that she vomited? I bet there was some near Matrix-like moves to keep it off the dress!
She was surprisingly calm about the vomiting…like she had expected it..and no, no stains! 🙂
Wow Romi. 😀
Mind you I’m a guy who HATES weddings. I’m using the word HATE here … (As Good As It Gets/Jack Nicholson reference) So reading your blow-by-blow of big sister’s wedding is more fun than I would have thought possible … I hope for your sake that Fugly Other-bride never finds this post!
And so you have created this new Blessing for Bride and Groom: May Your Wedding NOT Happen In The Crappier Hall To The Left.
Does your sister read your blog? My sister doesn’t read mine (except perhaps for the post last summer on my daughter’s wedding) not that I’d report about her puking … but fainting? My sister fainted at our cousin’s wedding … just saying … Thanks Romi, for some Sunday evening laughs. 😀 On another tab of my browser I’m trying to watch FlashForward and V on Hulu.com, and this is not going so well. I’m wondering why the hell the American Broadcasting Corporation (ABC) is going all apocalyptomaniac on my ass. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
I think my sister “knows of” my blog..but I don’t think she has the attention span to read it..but I don’t post pics of her just in case… 😉
Sorry you couldn’t watch V without technical issues by the way, I heard that is a good show!
Lol, ha like you’ve read before, I too have neck problems! I like the Seafoam, very pretty.
On a random note, a lot of Canadian-Indians come to Penn to shop because there is no sales tax on clothes, I wait at my cash register every day for you to grace my target store with your presence!!!! 😉
OMG…no sales tax? you just wait for me by your register!! 😉
This is off topic, but actually your sister’s wedding was a “white-person one”. This information is no longer politically-correct (there alot of pseudo-scientists now claiming there’s no such thing as race), but it’s still true. There are three races: Negroid, Caucasoid, and Mongoloid. (There may be a fourth, Australoid, but that’s always been disputed, because no one is certain of the origin of the Australian Aborigines.) And race has absolutely nothing to do with skin color–in fact, everyone in the world is actually the same color, just different shades of it, depending on the amount of melanin in the skin. Race is determined chiefly by skeletal structure, particularly of the face. As it happens, Indians are as “white” as Europeans–because they are a part of the Caucasoid Race.
off topic but highly informative…I did NOT know that! 🙂
OMG, this is great!! Had to come visit. I’m a subscriber now so I can leave stupid comments and fudge up your site!!! I bet you can’t wait. And yes, you are special. Not special like unigue…special like ride on the hump in the short bus. LOL I love you too!! LMAO
WIGGINATOR!!!! Love having your around, and love seeing more and more TNBWers blogging! 🙂
PS: omg short bus?!!?!? hating you… 😦
I loved this!!! What I wouldn’t have give for a play by play on a bride on bride brawl!!!! You better post some pics and I want to see the hugs! LOL Also, it was so nice of you to emcee your sis’s wedding I’m SURE everything went off without a hitch….I can’t wait for the post 🙂
Wow…I have so much to say about the reception…will have to be two more posts at least 😉
PS: thank you! it wasn’t so bad, but my face looked so damn shiny on screen from the sweating…I am AFRAID to watch the video…LOL
You’re hilarious. I have to tell you your Facebook status updates always crack me up.
I wanted to pop in because I feel I’ve been remiss!! I’m having trouble keeping up with everyone’s blogs! They’re blooking up out of no where. I don’t like to be smug, but I was the first in this latest round. 😀
Have you ever seen ‘Far and Away’? You’re a corker, Romi!! (It’s from the movie.)
I have been so shifty with my blogging lately that the transition of TBNWers into blogging has been hard to keep up with! There is also Joy I have to check out and “Journeys in Ink” of course! 🙂
And yes you were first in the latest round…you are SO on my blogroll now 😉
Har! ‘Blooking’ is supposed to be ‘blooming.’
I added you to my blogroll a while ago but forgot to tell you…
No worries, I thought you’d be first on the scene with new vocab and that “blooking” was a cool new word 😉
PS: thanks for the blogroll add, you’re on mine too now!
yes, let’s turn your blog/novel into wallpaper. Actually poems sound like the best thing to put on wallpaper, dont’you think? do you write poetry?
You so crack me up. thanks for blogrolling me. I just had a week w/o internet and survived. I’ll be blogging and twitting again soon. Funny how fast you fall out of practice.
This is just a quick word to let you know I’ve nominated you for the Kreativ Blogger badge – an award that can be posted in your sidebar. Click here for details:
All the best,
that’s awesome! Thank you very much, I will add that in when I get the chance 🙂
I like your style of writing! Entertaining read 🙂
Hey Romi! This is fun! I don’t know how come I didn’t know this particular blog existed. Where have I been? I typed in journeys in ink incorrectly and all sorts of things googled up and there you were! Love this blog, but where is the latest installment???? Come on, girl, write!