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I have two sets of memoirs from India. One from 1995 which I already wrote about, and one from 2006 which I’ll write about in my last three posts of ‘o9.
So what kind of difference does eleven years make? The difference in India’s economy, commercial development, and fast food choices is irrelevant to my discussion. I’m talking about the difference in ME that eleven years makes.
First time around? Fourteen years old, metal-mouth, obsession with wearing flannel shirts (even in summer), long greasy hair parted down the middle (for extra ugliness), relaxed fit jeans that taper at the bottom, no make-up and no eyebrow-plucking mechanisms in sight. I hope the imagery is sufficient, as I’d rather punch my own uterus than post a picture.
Eleven years later? Twenty-five years old, agreeable teeth, form-fitting but full-length shirts (I passed on the baby-tee trend of ’06), shoulder-length hair cut by a professional (though still a bit ratty), low-rise, wide-leg jeans, my obsession with mascara/eyeshadow/lip gloss in full force, and (THANK GOD) a penchant for eyebrow maintenance.
Nowhere between these lines should you conclude I went from ugly duckling to swan. That’s sort of the point of today’s post. The truth is I was MAYBE a six out of ten on a man’s hotness scale in 2006 (maybe a six and a half now? Sweet). I’m not entirely sure how men’s hotness scales work, but I assume they use one scale for models and celebs, and a separate one for us regular chicks. I say this because all the non-celeb hot girls would max out at a three out of ten, if it was “one scale fits all”. Okay then).
So with nothing eye-popping really going on, I was expecting to be left alone by everyone but monkeys while in India.
On the other hand, it’s not like the source of disturbance wasn’t primate (I don’t mean that since humans descended from monkeys, I mean that because a lot of time men act like gross-ass monkeys).
It began only two hours after de-planing in New Delhi. As a preface, eighteen hours of sitting in a vacuum makes one rather gross to the naked eye. And in our state of grossness, our uncle piled us into the van, for an eight-hour drive to his house in the village.
By hour number three, it was 2am so we pulled into a pit stop for some tea. This place was everything you’d expect from your average truck stop, except for the blaring music, and dozens of cots outside.
Cots filled with beady-eyed Indian men, enjoying tea and pakoras while they stared.
Oh how they stared.
I probably caught about twenty different men in the staring act. Did I mention how gross I looked? Also I was fully dressed. Jeans, t-shirts AND a hoodie. Well boy did that hoodie get zipped up fast. That night I learned that Indians in INDIA are so much more overt than Indians in North America. Like if you catch a brown man leering at you in Canada, he’ll keep on staring for two or three seconds to make it awkward, but that’s about it. In India though they’ll get even worse if you catch them staring. Like lick their lips and shit.
As the days went on I grew to accept the staring, but soon I would learn that it could also have its perks.
Like in our second week, when we visited one of India’s craziest bazaars.
This place was jam-packed with humans, goats, scooters, rickshaws, and the occasional car that was brave enough to squeeze its way through. Let me return to the men on the scooters. Because there was so much traffic, scooter-men had plenty of time to stare at my triple-layer-clothing-covered boobies. But instead of turning away or crossing my arms, I’d simply stand there staring back, loud and proud. And his scooter would slowly advance, with him still staring glazed over.
Until he’d hit the rickshaw in front of him.
Ha. Leering leading to traffic collisions, good times. The whole thing reminded me of that line from the movie “Memoirs of a Geisha”:
“If you can stop a man in his tracks with a single glance, THAT’S when you know, that you’ve learned the true art of Geisha”
Or maybe that wasn’t even a line from the movie. I don’t remember too well since the movie was pretty boring and I dozed off multiple times.
But anyway the constant leering made me feel like a powerful Geisha, albeit a brown one.
And that’s a good thing.
As the memoir continues I’ll discuss the repulsive married man in India who tried to make a play. And gold.
You live an adventurous life. I only get stares like that from drunk third cousins.
well a look is a look I guess 😉
Best post title evah!! 😛
Love the glimpse into the fantastically awkward world of Indian truck stops! The lip licking makes me feel dirty just reading it. Gross!!!
Making someone feel dirty via my words means I know I’ve done my job 😉
So I guess it’s true what I’ve heard about Indian men. *shudder* Well let their fevered eyes melt right out of their gross-ass monkey heads Romi as they get a look at you. 6.5!?!? 6.5 doesn’t cause rickshaw accidents Ms. Moondi. Tri-layer covered boobies or not. As usual, you sell yourself short. But that humility is yet another charm. 🙂
People always think it’s humility, but my mind is constantly at work calculating how many women out there (non-celebrity) are better looking than me 😉
And then there’s that HONESTY …
LOL! That was hilarious. I hope you know you are beutiful now. That was too funny…
I’m glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your sweet comment! 🙂
maybe it’s just because your blog has put you in a celeb cat for me, but I’d say you are sooo a bangin hot 10.
I think…you…need to post a pic of 14 year old Romi, she sounds lip-lickable to me. 😉
14 year old pic? Hell to the NO…and if I am a 10 in your eyes…well aww…I love your skewed vision! 😉
Lol, lickin lips!!! I went in ’94, now I remember why I haven’t visited since!! Love the post!
Thanks for stopping by to read this Rosie, you’re awesome! 🙂
I got leered at by a group of construction workers a couple days ago when I was out jogging with no makeup, my hair smashed under a hoodie, sneakers that had come untied (yup, like a five-year-old!)and a pair of glasses (that admittedly become sunglasses when I’m outdoors.)
I in no way was dressed for success, but apparently some men will take anything.
I don’t know Corra…that whole combo sounds kinda hot 😉
Lick there lips and what?!!?
I somehow feel violated
Honestly I’ve perfected the art of “Observing” it helps preventing those awkward moments when someone catches you staring.
Its a simple case of being aware of the surrounding environment around a pretty girl.
okay, my casual slang on “lick their lips and—” totally came out wrong! 😉 And ah yes, smart observation is key to avoiding creepo status!!
Literally causing a traffic accident? That’s a lifelong WIN. 😀
Reminds me of that scene in Desperado when Salma Hayek causes an accident by crossing the street. And yes, I’d crash my car ogling at Salma, too.
And I’D crash my car ogling Salma too!! She’s a looker 😉
I hope you licked your lips right back while plotting their untimely death due to rickshaw accident!
Still, I have to agree with Taoist Biker and say that causing an accident is a total win 😀
I didn’t want to lick my lips, it would make the gloss wear off 😉
*snicker* Ah, memories.
In summer 2008, I was sitting in the park in Philly, and some desi dude who’d been watching me from the bench across from mine came over (apparently thinking I’d been combing out my hair, which had gotten tangled in the wind, just for him) and asked to sit down on my bench. I said no, and he hopped up, all offended, and jogged off. Whoo-hoo!
I would be SOOOO wigged out if a desi asked to sit next to me on a bench….ickk….ever get one of them to ask you “what village are your parents from?”….UGHHHHHHHH 😉
Romi, you’re much more than a 6.5, you silly goose!
YOU are a silly goose for not taking into account the large population of women and attractive options therein…but thank you 😉
Turkish men (and women) are exactly the same! I had a hard time getting used to the staring. That was one bit of culture shock I wasn’t prepared for. But I figure as long as they don’t point, I’m doing okay.
yes, a stare plus a point definitely carries it over to creepola-fest…and I do think you are worthy of such staring, anyway 😉
I used to get oggled by men ALL THE TIME before I had kids. Now? Not even a second glance. It’s so weird, it’s as if Mother is tattooed on my forehead or something.
I remember I was once hit on in a supermarket a few yrs ago while I was with my mother. I turned him down and told him I was married. As he walked away I told my mom how sceeved out I was. She said “One day, those men won’t looka t you anymore.. and you will miss it”
I totally get it now, bec apparently 28 year old moms of twins are creatures!!!
Anyway- you know you are more than a 6.5. Shut it.
p.s loved the whole, “licking their lips and shit”.. made me laugh out loud (israeli’s can be the same way- but they are wayyy sexier!)
I don’t get that though…you are SO hot…seriously, some people have a “radio appearance” (heh), but you should totally be starring in your own show! 🙂
PS: I wanna meet some israeli’s…don’t mind lick-lipping as much if they are hot 😉
Well at least you’re not complaining about it, as most women do! I really envy women–even the least attractive (which don’t include you, of course) are adored, so much that they’re spoiled about it! And I don’t understand that attitude. Women almost never leer at me, but I feel absolutely wonderful when they do–even if they’re unattractive! I think most other men feel this way, too–this is not a man’s world, it’s a woman’s!
Oh, and most of the celebrity women of this era disgust me–they’re underweight, often grossly so. The most beautiful women in the world, to me, are just ordinary women leading ordinary lives.
yup…I think “ordinary” is more special than the credit it receives!
May you continue to cause rickshaw-scooter mayhem, in your late twenties, dear Romi 😉
ohhh…how I hope for it to continue! I DO NOT want to become a shrinking violet…grrr…
licking their lips while shitting would make me run for the nearest plane back for the good old USA (or Canada in your case!)
LOL….I have awful choice in words… 😉
Ok, first of all you are no way a 6 1/2 so let’s clear that up right now. You are definately pushing a 10 so just stop with all the humility BS. I can’t give you a 10 because that’s for Catherine Zeta-Jones and you did make that comment about your eyebrows. You don’t have a uni-brow do you? LOL
Causing traffic accidents in India with just a glance. In Canada I’m sure you’ve never before caused some guy to walk into something or run a red light because of your lack of hotness! LOL Great work my little Indanuck. ps: We want 14 year old pics as a comparison!!
I DON’T have a unibrow damn you! They just need some attention underneath…that is no crime! LOL…
PS: yup, I would deny myself high scoring in favour of Catherine 🙂
PPS: damn you, NO 14 year old Romi pic! NEVER!!!!
Oooh, I’ve always wanted to visit India. So jealous of you, but in a good way. I bet those memoirs are so damn interesting, hope you share some of them here someday.
How is the book agent search going? You rock for actually writing a book rather than just having an outline like me. Best of luck to you!
Thank you, and I hope you get to go to India some day, it’s pretty great!
Book-agent search may have hit a breakthrough, but I’ll keep you posted in the New Year as I’ll find out for sure then! 🙂
How can you stand being so damn funny?
a lot of people replace the word “funny” with “weird”, so I guess it’s a matter of opinion 😉
All the best from Dan.
@ Romi, maybe you don’t take compliments well or whatever but what a made you think you’re a 6??? You are at least an 8 and I am not trying to flatter or anything like that I am just saying that you are hotter than you seem to believe. You’re pretty great, the world needs more women like you. Love this blog by the way.
[…] out my bloggy-blog for 2009, so off we go with the final installment of India 2006 (most recent and earlier posts […]