Confessions of a Chick in Paris

Confessions of a Chick in Paris

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World’s Biggest Burger: Triumph or Travesty?

May 9, 2010 , , , , , , ,

Several days ago, I witnessed the creation of the world’s biggest burger, by renowned chef and author Ted Reader.

Like everyone in the crowd, I was fascinated by the spectacle, smiling and cheering at the lettuce distribution.

After the event concluded, I realized that despite feasting my eyes on a colossal barbecue favourite, I didn’t have an appetite at all.

How odd.

A subway ride and some contemplating later, I discovered that my absence of hunger was a symptom, of a much more serious issue:

-Shame

I mean it’s all well and good to build a giant burger, break a world record, and auction it to charity…but is it really a victimless endeavour?

What about giants?

I’m not referring to regular people enlarged by eating too much McDonald’s; I mean actual, official, can’t-fit-through-doorways giants.

If you don’t think they exist, then watch Big Fish; not only was there a giant playing a giant in that film (may he rest in peace), but he lived in a cave, which is obviously how real giants live (unless you think a jobless giant can afford a vaulted-ceiling apartment).

Back to the burgers; while we laughed, pointed and cheered at the progression of additional layers, did we ever stop to think of any giants who were watching on TV? Or who follow me on Twitter as I shamelessly tweeted the event? The very same giants who when craving a delicious burger on a hot summer’s day, don’t even have any options!

I mean let’s face it: go to drive-thru at McDonald’s when they can’t even fit in a car? Grill ten cows at at time on barbecue, when there are NO giant barbecues available for consumer purchase? (at least not at Canadian Tire…)

And what even happened to the world’s biggest burger? Auctioned off I suppose, to be sliced up and shared amongst a couple hundred regular-sized humans. All the while, nature’s giants sit and wait, for a succulent disc-shaped meal that will never come.

And you wonder why giants eat humans?

All I’m saying is…if my final demise comes at the hands (and mouth…and teeth) of a giant, I’ll understand.

(But since I posted this and feel really guilty, please don’t eat me. Thanks.)

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comments

I kinda want a pet giant now.

Maren

May 9, 2010

maybe we could have joint custody of a giant, I’d like one too πŸ˜‰

Romi

May 17, 2010

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

is all I can say

rachelhamm

May 10, 2010

I still want a giant cake

Romi

May 17, 2010

That thing probably sat out a bit too long for me to consider actually eating. That’s an impressive size bun too.

That “bun” comment is common at many McDonalds also.

morethananelectrician

May 10, 2010

hahaha…I like my buns big πŸ˜‰

Romi

May 17, 2010

Travesty!

This is so weird … my wife and I went over to our daughter’s new house today to help her husband with some painting and since we drive by a McDonalds on the way and I was kinda hungry … we went to the drive up and ended up spending almost $20! We bought 3 of the new third of a pound Angus burgers. We wanted 2 mushroom and swiss for us and a bacon cheese for the son-in-law (he loves burgers). We were feeling some kinda guilt too, but not about the giants. Silly whatever it was. We ended up with 2 bacon and cheese and one mushroom swiss. Whatever. They were not bad! I saw the Guiness burger on TV. How the hell are they gonna cut that up? What a freakin mess!

You’re scaring me with this talking about giants and stuff.

David

May 10, 2010

No! Don’t be afraid of that which you don’t understand…giants need some lovin’ too πŸ˜‰

Romi

May 17, 2010

Hahahhahahaha! Hear you, giants, don’t eat her!

bisiadjapon

May 10, 2010

thanks for endorsing my continued survival πŸ˜€

Romi

May 17, 2010

Now I want a burger.

Taoist Biker

May 10, 2010

I could really use a big plate of pasta right now…almost midnight though…DAMMIT

Romi

May 17, 2010

Hey you. I gave my friend your blog address to so she can contact you about your novel experience as she is starting one too. Hope that is okay. πŸ™‚

Will

May 10, 2010

I’ve been over this one, I think πŸ˜‰ Bring it on!

Romi

May 17, 2010

LOL!

Don’t forget about the Burger King Giant though – he must have been pissed off and dis-respected when he wasn’t invited.

Thought King

May 11, 2010

oh yeah! The Burger King giant is actually offensive to me; the clown smile gives me nightmares..

Romi

May 17, 2010

Wow, Romi. So much passion and emotion! I’m thinking you would make a great lawyer for the Geico cavemen! If you don’t know who they are (they are probably only in the U.S., you can check out their commercials on youtube which are kind of funny). After reading this, I could see you standing up for them and fighting for their rights. πŸ™‚

teeni

May 12, 2010

I think I have a new cause now Teeni! And yes I’ve seen those ads on US channels, they’d be a great face to my new charity πŸ˜‰

Romi

May 17, 2010

Romilatta!! Good to see you have your new site. I have a giant burger of my own, so this makes me feel less lonely in the world. Talk to you soon, Barclay

Yo' Momma

May 14, 2010

“Yo’ Momma”, hahaha…love the new name πŸ˜‰

And for some reason, I always though you’d have a giant Taco Bell tac πŸ˜‰

Romi

May 17, 2010

LOL totally agree on you being the Geico Cavemen spokesperson. You could be the liasion for mutants everywhere! We would be so proud of you!

Excellent post, you had me starting to look over my shoulder for a suspicious shadow as I eat my burger for lunch.

Sharla

May 14, 2010

“Mutant Liaison”…okay that is way better than my current job title πŸ˜‰ Thanks for the support Sharla, and always eat your burger with both eyes open!!!

Romi

May 17, 2010

Dear Giants,

Please don’t eat Romi. If you do eat her, please leave her funny bone. Her readers would appreciate it.

Moonbeam

Moonbeam McQueen

May 16, 2010

I appreciate your realism in that I may in fact still get eaten, haha πŸ˜‰ But I also appreciate that you’d like my funny bone to stick around, thanks Moonbeam!!

Romi

May 17, 2010

Well, I’m a semi-giant. I’m 6 feet, 3 inches tall, and would weigh 210 pounds, ideally. Being a large man definitely helps when I’m walking alone, late at night! But it hurts, badly, with women. They’re intimidated–I’m obviously very powerful, physically, and they don’t realize what a gentle giant I am. What’s worse–big men are expected to be soft-spoken, the “strong, silent type”. And though I’m strong, I’m by no means silent! If I were a little guy, women would find my talkativeness charming–but a big man with an outgoing, expressive personality scares the hell out of them!

Scott

May 19, 2010

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