Confessions of a Chick in Paris

Confessions of a Chick in Paris

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Grateful Moment #2: Unicorns Don’t Exist!

August 15, 2010 , , , , , , , ,

So beautiful, so pure, and with a horn containing magical healing powers, we all want unicorns to exist.

NO WE DON’T!

Imagine if unicorns were discovered in our lifetime. Now please imagine World War III, because whichever country these ethereal beasts were discovered in (my guess is Luxembourg), invasion would swiftly follow.

World War III would end on the basis of cloning. The United Nations would promise a unicorn to every man, woman, and child.

But who would be in charge of quality control?

Cloning is all well and cute when you’re simply doubling up on a sheep named Dolly, but exponential cloning of unicorns? It won’t be long before the magic of unicorns is watered down; it’s like cutting lines of coke with powdered sugar, just not the same. Predictably, the wealthy will snatch up all the earliest clones, leaving the poor folk with glorified horses that only have a two-inch horn.

And what about the horses, by the way? Up until now the beauty of horses has been captured in films and books; they are infinitely loved by those who own stables or those who can afford to take a ride.

Well not if the unicorns sauntered in!

The influx of magical unicorns would devalue the plain old horses. They’d be tossed from the stables and left to survive in an unforgiving world. It’s like in Southern Cali where the beautiful people always get by, and the ugly people are homeless or work in valet.

So if you care even a lick for horses, world peace, and the sanctity of unicorn magic, you are as happy as I am that they’ve never been discovered…

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comments

wait…so what’s next? you’re gonna say My Little Pony was not a BBC earth documentary? lies…all lies

The Burg

August 15, 2010

The glitter ponies were always my favourite, and they are SO real 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

Predictably, the wealthy will snatch up all the earliest clones, leaving the poor folk with glorified horses that only have a two-inch horn.

Um… So, y’know, I really want to ignore the innuendo there, but I can’t… 😀

bigwords88

August 16, 2010

hahahaha….enjoy the inneundo, I put it out there innocently, but who knows what happens once it’s been read? 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

I’ve never had any particular fascination for horses or unicorns. I don’t think I ever asked my parents for a pony. And I think unicorns are stupid looking with those horns- and who are we kidding- one person is going to get impaled with one of those things and then the whole world is going to raise hell about how dangerous the beasts are and how are children aren’t safe and blah blah blah. so, yeah, I agree, we’re totally better off.

rachelhamm

August 16, 2010

“our children” not “are children,” geesh rach

rachelhamm

August 16, 2010

ummm wow…definitely another valid reason to just say NO to unicorns! Haha, good one rach! 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

Boo to unicorns I say!

Grumpy

August 16, 2010

Double boo! They can take their magicalness and send it right back to the Luxembourg forest! 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

one must wonder if unicorns are actually a beast of darkness sent to earth to gore those that are good with its dark magic filled horn…perhaps to save their image and maintain the surprise factor for their evil comeback they were painted as a beautiful do-gooder…nothing is ever as it seems

Luis and Esther – Profoundinconclusions.wordpress.com

thoughtqueen

August 16, 2010

I not only am opposed to unicorns, but after reading your comment I am also afraid of them! 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

Romi, let’s meet up somewhere in the middle like Oregon or something (is that even in the middle?? I have no idea) and talk about ourselves while we dine on a fine, choice, medium-rare slab of fresh unicorn.

Think it over. Get back to me.

Vodka and Ground Beef

August 17, 2010

Ah, yes… the new white meat. Magic in every bite. 🙂

bigwords88

August 17, 2010

LOL unicorn meat or spam? Either choice seems fine after viewing that image! 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

Oregon may not be in the middle, but I would move mountains to get to you plus a platter of unicorn meat and some boxed wine! 😀

Romi

August 22, 2010

I’ll bring the Good & Plenty for dessert!

David

August 25, 2010

They are all at Area 51…or Warehouse 13! Romi, you crack me up.

sharla

August 17, 2010

hahahaha…I knew the gov’t was hiding the unicorn booty! 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

You’ve been drinking again haven’t you!!!! Unicorns in Luxembourg…..I’m totally thinking Austria or Switzerland! 😉

sammy25

August 18, 2010

well okay I was drunk, obviously Austria is the logical unicorn hideout 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

Ally McBeal believes in unicorns, and that’s good enough for me.

Allison

August 18, 2010

But which is scarier? Unicorns or the dancing baby in Ally McBeal? 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

I’m thinking the eating of horse flesh would become a lot more mainstream one unicorns showed up on the scene. I wonder if the horses are the ones keeping the unicorns out of sight? Hmmm??? 😕

Peter Parkour

August 19, 2010

Maybe horses should be eliminated from the equation to find out if that’s true? But…if we’re wrong we are out a unicorn suspicions and a whole species of horses 😉

Romi

August 22, 2010

Thought provoking post.

Perhaps the US government’s conspiracy to keep unicorn sightings from the public has a greater good–for horses and world peace I mean.

slamdunk

August 21, 2010

I always trust the government to look out for the greater good…lol

Romi

August 22, 2010

I knew there was something quite dark about those My Little Pony dolls…

Duffboy

August 27, 2010

I still dream about my purple sparkled one though…such exquisite hair! Sigh…

Romi

September 6, 2010

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