Confessions of a Chick in Paris

Confessions of a Chick in Paris

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Grateful Moment #5: Facebook Isn’t Cancelled!

September 19, 2010 , , , , , , , ,

I started using Facebook in December of 2006. Age twenty-five and with my narcissism underdeveloped, I was skeptical at best. And why not? Only some years removed from high school a.k.a. the era of “ugly face hidden by greasy knots of hair”, and suddenly I was expected to post my private jpegs as a showcase?

Stupid fad, it’ll pass.

Four years later I’m a faithful disciple to the medium. Faithful and dependent, because if someone stole my Facebook and my iPhone, they may as well steal my will to live and the world’s supply of chocolate (most of which is currently stored in my cupboard).

Facebook lets you create an unlimited number of albums, so where the cost of film and printed pictures was once prohibitive, with Facebook every eye blink is suddenly worthy of exposure. Like the photos from the day I spent walking around. Or the time I got dressed and went outside. Or the morning I had cereal for breakfast. And don’t you ALL want to know which cereal it was? Of course you do…it was Multi-Grain Cheerios! I’ll post a picture on Facebook to prove it.

I will admit to feeling jealous sometimes, when I don’t have better reasons to post. My friends who get married rule the Newsfeed with their epic celebrations. My friends who have babies are even worse. In fact, one random morning my Facebook “friend” shared an ultrasound picture of her fetus. When I saw it my face turned red and my blood began to boil. Why hasn’t anyone seen the inner workings of MY uterus?! Maybe I can post a picture of my sexier, fetus-free oven to upstage her. But will people think I’m weird if I show them an empty uterus? Will I risk getting zero comments?

So I’ll admit, there is even a hierarchy in Facebook land, but always remember how your life could be worse, if Facebook and Twitter and all of it shut its doors.

For the first little while you’d be frantic, and soon you’d start printing all your jpegs and sorting them in themes. Then you’d wander around busy streets and subways, tapping people on the shoulder and asking them to look at your albums. Maybe they’d like to leave a comment as well? There’s a guestbook section in the back.

But don’t forget: the rest of them are suffering too. A society of vacant faces peddling their photos to strangers, in the downtrodden search for validation.

If society turned into THAT, I’m sure the aliens would say “no thanks”, and cancel their impending invasion.

And in fact society HAS turned into that, it’s simply hidden in the shadows of the Internet.

So yes it’s a competition, and sure you’ll be upstaged by the uterus pic that’s plugged up with a fetus, but don’t let it bring you down! Instead take heart that you can share your daily details with the welcoming walls of the web, which trick you into thinking that any of it matters.

“The medium is the message.”– Marshall McLuhan


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comments

all of your fb pics are important to me. after all, i do like to know what i would look like if i was as skinny as you!
😉
and shut up- you know my babies are cute- esp the fro pics.

geminigirl64

September 19, 2010

hahaha…FINE, your babies are too cute and I stalk their pics, FINE! 😉

Romi

October 1, 2010

hah…im doing a training session on Facebook on wednesday to all my label managers to show them “why facebook is here to stay”…wanna be a guest speaker? 😛

The Burg

September 19, 2010

wow, I wish I had responded to you and earned the chance to be a guest speaker, I would’ve had so many insights! Or I would’ve been thrown out of the room 😉

Romi

October 1, 2010

I’m dying to see your uterus Romi. We all are. Don’t tease us.

I loved this: “every eye blink is suddenly worthy of exposure. Like the photos from the day I spent walking around. Or the time I got dressed and went outside. Or the morning I had cereal for breakfast.”

Hilarous.

Vodka and Ground Beef

September 20, 2010

First I need to Photoshop my uterus then MAYBE I’ll post an airbrushed version.

Romi

October 1, 2010

And this is why I love you.

Maren

September 20, 2010

I love you too sweet Maren, too many reasons to count!

PS: we met on Facebook, love, LOVE Facebook for that! 🙂

Romi

October 1, 2010

I love my facebook. I had someone defriend me (a bridesmaid no less)because she was sick of my updates. Her passive aggressive rant went along the lines of ‘I have to go through 2 pages worth of finding out what you had for breakfast before I could see any other status updates’. It is called scroll, bitch.

Anyhoo – I love being f-book friends with you 🙂

Grumpy

September 20, 2010

hunny, you know i’m all about your pics!!! and yes, you have to post your cheerios. I’m sure they were chocolate and not multigrain. black and whites don’t count either.

joebecca

September 20, 2010

hahaha…I swear, I am kind of in love with Multigrain Cheerios, just a hint of sweetness, they taste perfect! 😉

Romi

October 1, 2010

Ha!!! Loved it, too funny! And you’re right! We become such a slave to needing to know what everyone is doing. I do have trouble multi-loving a social media though. I was all about FB till I finally figured out Twitter. Now I’m on that every night, and not so much on FB. Or I set up Twitter for mostly writers and visit FB for the personal stuff. I’ll blog, but only a couple times a week because I do that from work (blink, blink) and can’t get on FB or Twitter.

I haven’t seen or wanted to see my uterus in fifteen years, so my FB pics are of live mouthy teenagers who usually want money. And I just realized I’m friends w/you on Twitter but not FB so I’ll need to do that so I can see your walking around pics!

Sharla

September 20, 2010

Hi Sharla, for me I try to do both twitter and FB and it can be a balancing act…I’m such a social-networking whore!! 😉

PS: my privacy settings on FB are kind of restrictive (haha, I’m so paranoid! 😉 ), so I will try to find you on there, DM me if it’s under a different name!)

Romi

October 1, 2010

I’m totally with VAGB on this. I’m sure that your uterus is every bit as adorable as the rest of you, and I would love to see it. Maybe the two of you could get together on this project. You might want to take them out for spa days first though. Just to primp them up.

But the more I think about it the reason we don’t see enough empty uterus shots on the Facebook is because getting an ultrasound ain’t cheap (in the USA anyway). Snapping quickies of yourself in the mirror is cheap. Speaking of which, I really like to see what my webkins are doing from time to time. Sure it’s banal, self-involved, and trivial, but I think that the way it totally subverts time and space is TRIPPY. So GO Facebook, and GO internet, and GO all my internet buddies!!

LOVE YA.

David

September 20, 2010

I love you too David! The internet has expanded the possibilities of friendship in amazing ways!

PS: I love the word banal, I just do 😀

Romi

October 1, 2010

I am so grateful that the internet has social networking sights to keep these horrible desires people have to share things in check. What you described was a nightmare scenario.

Stellar post.

Posky

September 21, 2010

thanks for visiting Posky, and in a sick way, just for fun, I would almost like to see the world in such a wretched state, just for a day 😉

Romi

October 1, 2010

See Romi I just cant follow you on this one. Facebook, Twitter, chocolate!?? Oh… wait I do loves me some chocolate. Anyway, I really like to live in the old days. If people want to poke me then it will be with a finger or if they plan on tagging me then prepare to get chased and tagged back (unless you get to the porch, which is obviously home base). I like to meet people with the awkward head nod in a hall way or joining someones lunch table or paying that hooker for sex. What I’m saying is that I might trade in this keyboard for a pencil. Oh, and don’t go lookin in my cupboards because I don’t want the dead hooker parts to fall out while you are jonsin for some chocolate.

Justin

September 22, 2010

“and don’t go lookin in my cupboards because I don’t want the dead hooker parts to fall out while you are jonsin for some chocolate.”

You are such an awesome psycho! 😉

Alright then, my small moment of reprieve is over, back to the craziness! 😉

PPS: I love playing tag and home base and all that, such good memories! 😀

Romi

October 1, 2010

1 notes

  1. THE BOOK OF AWFUL. I wrote it. You can buy it. If you want. « Romi reblogged this and added:

    […] If Facebook was cancelled […]

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