You can scroll the shelf using ← and → keys
You can scroll the shelf using ← and → keys
…I’d be seven-hundred pounds and only moveable by a crane. Because I can’t stop. I can’t! No goal is the end, no milestone is good enough…that’s just how it is for me, and for many other writers and artists. It’s not unlike a heroin addiction, only I don’t shiver in a corner, lose a lot of weight (dammit), get bloodshot eyes, and start cutting my own hair, like the girl in a public service announcement I saw once. The portrayal was chilling and ultimately convincing, as I would never want my hair to resemble the “after” outcome in the ad. Just say NO to drugs.
Oh look..in one short paragraph I’ve managed to offend drug addicts and those who might have rented a crane once (and not for construction purposes). At least I’m living up to the title of my blog…well that’s something.
So far this is one of the most random posts I’ve ever written and it has nothing to do with what I actually wanted to talk about…which is Snickers!!!
So here’s the real beginning of my post: when I became a self-pubished author, I never had to worry about hearing the word “no” again. No more “no’s” from literary agents or publishers, no more “no’s” from young bucks I was trying to seduce, since HELLO, I’m an author now and I dominate, you lithe and dimpled cabana boy…I was in charge and loving it! I even found an audience and sold 5,000 books and often cried from the lovely reviews…it was magical! (I’ll get to the Snickers, hold on).
But then I had this really clever idea to adapt “Year of the Chick” into a screenplay. In November I wrote the draft, then all throughout the holidays I re-wrote and re-wrote and RE-WROTE and polished it up. Unlike the wonderful process of self-publishing books however, I couldn’t learn all I needed to know then hit a button to make it happen. There’s no “movie machine” that converts screenplays for worldly consumption. And that’s my dream, to bring to life a story that so many readers have already said feels like a movie. Not to mention that I have readers in over ten countries (big thanks to Wattpad for helping me with that); it’s my dream to share the movie with them all! A-hoy!
Which means it’s back to hearing NO, or getting negative feedback, or having bad luck, or all the other stuff I can’t easily control, just because I keep on searching for this “unicorn” of writing hopes and dreams. The latest of these unknowns is waiting for a professional review at a site that hosts screenplays for industry professionals to read. I’m in day 10 of the “2 to 3 weeks” wait, and if it wasn’t for amazing friends who’ve been crucial in providing distractions, I’d probably be biting my nails like crazy right now…except why would I bite my nails when I could bite into a Snickers? (FINALLY, the Snickers reference!). In all seriousness though, friendship truly counts when you’re slowly going mad from the waiting, and that’s not something I will soon forget, my comrades (i.e. I shall bestow you with handfuls of blood diamonds when I make it big).
One of these crucial distractions was an endless discussion on “meggings”. Much in the way that Seinfeld named the male version of things with an “m” (i.e. “murse,” “manzier”), “meggings” are the solution to a man’s undying need to wear leggings just like the ladies. As you can see from this photo at a recent designer fashion show, a skin-tight pair of mint “meggings” can be a great compliment to a sensible v-neck sweater and some casual white loafers. For the “every man.”
After the initial discovery of “meggings,” my friends and I spent an unholy amount of time doing the following: 1: Googling different styles of “meggings” (they come in crazy prints as well); 2: wondering if it’s against the law to wear “meggings” in public since they leave so little “junk” to the imagination, and 3: contemplating what we’d do if the men in our lives came home with a fresh pair of “meggings.” Like I said…THANK GOODNESS for friends and their ability to distract during nervous waiting!
Even though the “meggings” debate is on hold (for right now), today I came across some pictures from a Donatella Versace fashion show. As you can see, the “meggings” can step aside, ’cause “see-through lace shorts” for men are the brand new order of the day (cue an endless discussion with friends on the topic of men’s lace shorts…YIPPEE!).
I’ll keep an eye on other men’s fashion as I await my review, and as I wait for any responses from agents and producers who actually let you query them. That’s my new life…the waiting game and being at the mercy of others…
(How the hell did I let that happen?!)
Self-published author boss lady/unproduced screenwriter minion
PS: Last week I decided I wouldn’t bring up the professional review I’d alluded to in my last post, at least not until I knew the result—in which case I would only mention it if it was good. Otherwise…total ambiguity, since obviously that’s the safest route to avoiding embarrassment! True, but then I overturned that decision, because really, how little courage does it take to only tell people the good news? It’s almost like you’re pre-admitting to the universe that you’ll fail by keeping it a secret ’til you know. So here I am, and it could go either way…but that’s life!
Meggings…so wrong…Snickers…so right
You know i wish you nothing but the best, right?
If anyone can conquer the film world…
Just don’t forget the little people – or the bellmen.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.